My friend and I were having our weekly chat and she said to me “I’m tired and I feel stuck and burned-out. I have been married for ten years with two kids and it’s all about them but never about me. I cook, clean, pick up, drop off, and our vacations consist of the whole family. I need some quality time for myself”! She said, “I don’t know what it really means to take care of me. On the outside I look great and, on the inside, I’m a wreck. So, I’m asking you what am I to do?”
I listened I pondered and was very careful how I answered. I heard the pain in her voice and it saddened me to know that she felt that way.
But, I posed that question back to her, “what are you going to do and why haven’t you taken time out to take care of you?” The crazy thing is I didn’t know what my friend really liked to do because it was always about her family. I thought long and hard and finally came up with the decision to make a date with her children. I got her a gift certificate to my favorite spa and I kept her little ones all day as she made a date with herself. Motherhood is not easy and it’s common for moms to feel like they’re burned out at times. However, being there to lend a helping hand is worth more than money can buy. Burnout is serious, and mothers need time alone and/or to be with other like-minded adults as well. They need someone that understands them and to let them know that they care.
A week later I called my friend and told her I would watch her kids twice a month under the condition that she and her hubby spend more time together. But, when I thought about it I made sure to stress that she needed to spend quality time with herself.
So, mothers why is it that we can take time out for everyone else but rarely make time for ourselves? Is it because we are mothers and our family are our priority? Or, do we say to ourselves if my family is good then I’m good? Well, what I would say is that you’re not good! You’re burned out, stressed out, and if you don’t take care of yourselves you’ll be phased out. Yes, Phased Out! Stress is an evitable part of life and to much of it can affect your health and cause one to be an emotional wreck. In turn, this can lead to psychological distress.
It’s time out for putting yourself last. On every plane before it takes off the flight attendant says “in the event of an emergency, if the cabin of the plane loses pressure put Your oxygen mask on First Before helping others…in this case your family. Mothers improve your health by taking care of yourself first. If you don’t take care of yourselves, you surely can’t take care of anyone else. Balance out
family and personal time. Take a class, workout, go walking, pray, meditate, put the kids to bed early and spend time with yourself, get up before the kids and spend some time by yourself, schedule a spa day, get your hair done, go to Barnes and Noble and read a book, or, better yet just do you by yourself before you lose yourself. Now, “What Are You Going To Do For You”? Because, no one can take care of You better than You.
Author Melanie D.